Journal Entry

The curtains above our bed sway slightly away from the window, allowing a slight salt-flavored breeze to come in. I open my eyes, snuggle with my bamboo sheets for one last squeeze, and smile. I do live in Hawaii, after all.

And though our cottage is three miles inland, the smell of the sea occasionally travels through the town of Kailua and into our church parking lot, and, subsequently into our small bedroom. Right now I feel like there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I look over and stare at my husband, who is sound asleep next to me. His brown skin gives sharp contrast to our ivory sheets.

This second a strong desire comes over me… must get to a coffee shop. Play time for me looks like three books stuffed in my backpack, along with my journal, laptop, and headphones. I am currently reading They like Jesus but not the Church by Dan Kimball, The Writing Life by Annie Dillard, and Sex God by Rob Bell. A scone and iced coffee will complete the transaction. Before this happens, though, I must call the bank to confirm payday. If a sum of money over the amount of five dollars exists in our checking account, I am good to go. If not, my trip to Starbucks must wait another day. So life goes on an intern salary.

Payroll is timely; I’m on my way.

Starbucks is fairly empty for this time of day. I claim a cushioned seat in the corner and order my cranberry scone and iced tall iced coffee, unsweetened with room for nonfat milk and Sugar-in-the-Raw. Weeks ago I swore off artificial sweetener and so I bypass the Splenda. A local guy with long hair tied into a ponytail sits in the chair next to me as I plug in my earphones and U2 serenades me. He sits for about a half an hour, content to stare out the window, and leaves. Derek Webb begins singing to me now and it’s time to begin writing. This is my escape.

***

I am learning a lot on this island. One of our graduated seniors asked me yesterday if it was hard to work in a “religious occupation.” She wondered if my work interfered with my relationship with Jesus or if the two were just combined. Good question. I find my personal ‘faith journey,’ if we might call it as such, is quite separate from my job. However, what I learn about Jesus always colors the way I see ministry and “work.” I don’t often teach about what I am learning in my faith. But rather, what I learn in my day-to-day questions, prayers, thoughts, readings, etc. seems to collectively shape the theological foundation from which I work.

This season presents me with the idea of redemption. If I ever write a book, it will talk about redemption. Probably. I find myself confronted with the overwhelming sense that Jesus’ purpose of the Church is to participate in the redemption of created to Creator. Jesus redeemed the world once and for all on the cross, but the Kingdom on Earth, as it is in Heaven, is still in process. So this very large, broad, and consuming concept taints the way I write each lesson, meet with each teenage person, and hopefully plan each event. I might add that I have been writing in the first person as if I am alone in ministry, when actually, JD and I agree and pursue ministry together under this umbrella of redemption.

***

Tonight is youth group. We haven’t figure out a game yet, but the lesson is prepared and announcements are lined up on Keynote. Beach BBQ, shift in youth group night (thank goodness), next week’s relay night, and our Summer with [Clive] Staples series. JD and I hate planning games. Perhaps this is quite unusual for youth workers, but we have a secret loathing for continually coming up with creative and engaging games. This doesn’t fly so well with jr. high ministry, so we utilize websites and books geared for games and try to plan months ahead. Some day maybe we’ll have a volunteer that loves to do games and will tackle that area of ministry. For now, we have secret venting sessions and then take shots of espresso right before youth group. It works. The teens will never know…

Enough rambling. Time’s up. Games to come up with, more coffee to consume, teens to meet with, laundry to put away, errands to run, kitchen to clean. I like my life.